Remind me why I wanted kids???

I swear my kids are like night and day. My son is this perfect kid. He does well in school. He is very well behaved and always has been. He does what he's asked most of the time without argument.
My daughter on the other hand is a living nightmare. She never listens. She is constantly pushing me. She gets violent. She gets into EVERYTHING! She seriously drives me insane. She knows how to push my button to get me mad. Its like this long chain of events like this...

First she gets mad cause I ask her to drive her squeeky car in the other room. Its giving me a headache and we cant hear the TV. She throws a big tantrum yelling "NO".

After warnings that she needs to stop she gets put into her room for a time out.

While in her room she throw things.
Slams the door several times.
Squirts vapo-rub lotion on her jewelry box.

So she gets put into a chair for time out instead.

She keeps shaking the damn chair. I'm afraid she will break the ladder back off my good chair.

She kicks me.
She hits me.
She spits at me.
She calls me a stupid idiot.

So, she does all of this just to push my buttons. She does it knowing it will make me angry.

I'll be the first to admit that i have a rage problem. I am known to scream my fucking head off when I am mad. This kid drives me mad! I actually called hubby crying yesterday and told him that i was so angry I wanted to hurt her. I wouldnt hurt her and I havent ever hurt her. But, boy, does she make my feel like hurting her when she behaves like that.